The Andy Griffith Toilet

Vintage tumblr content from April 7, 2008

This morning

The toilet is foaming from the bowl.I awoke, in the usual way, from a very strange dream. In this dream I had been preparing/ordering a large and varied meal of brightly coloured dishes all served in white tupperware and styrofoam clamshell packs. The meal was being delivered by speedboat. It seemed strange at the time, to be pushing flotillas of sweet ‘n’ sour chicken balls through body temperature, chest-deep water.

So, I got out of bed and walked directly to the toilet to urinate. When I was finished, I remained standing there, in one of those ‘just woke’ stupors, and listened to the quiet sounds of the house. Cars hushed outside, computers mummed downstairs, the vapourizer in the bedroom hissed pleasantly while the boy slept.

Somewhere in the back of the toilet, water was dripping, the drops making very distinct and almost musical plunks. This is when I heard, very distinctly, the exact tune from the Andy Griffith show. The theme of Andy Griffith – as played by toilet water.

My first thought was not that my toilet had become sentient and was attempting to communicate. Instead I thought about how ordinary it all seemed. The kind of thing that probably happens quite often. People either notice it, recognize a pattern, or they don’t. Even though it might be the kind of thing that would end up in a blog post – the whole situation made me feel quite saddened.

Not crying, boo-hoo poor me kind of sad either. I was reminded, in that moment, that phenomena is empty of meaning. It’s the death-knell of the ego, I suppose. These things have already been abandoned.

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